How do you love a Broken Hearted Man?


I can see your inner struggle. Your heart desires to love and be loved, yet your mind says the last time you tried to love, you were hurt, betrayed, misled, and misunderstood. Your mind still recalls the nights you cried alone until you couldn’t breathe, the nights you couldn’t sleep because you physically felt your heart breaking, the agony brought on by the betrayal of someone who loved you. Your mind recalls the red flags you wish you hadn’t overlooked.

So now that love is being offered to you again, you don’t trust it. You test the boundaries of it repeatedly.  You look for any inconsistency in behavior as proof that this couldn’t be real love.  Every action and detail is scrutinized. You won’t overlook red flags again. You shut out anything that looks like love to shield yourself.

You have sentenced your heart to solitary confinement as a form of logical protection. How do I free you from this self-imposed prison? You love me and you want to be loved by me…So how do I reach your heart?

  1. Patience. Rebuilding your trust in the power of love will take time. You have been hurt and you require time to heal. If you are willing to do the work to rebuild, I’m willing to patiently wait.
  2. Personal.  When you shut down, set up barriers, and refuse to let me in, it is fear provoking that action and I will not take it personally. You desire to shut out pain, not me.
  3. Persistence. This will not be an easy road. I won’t start it and then give up on you because I don’t want to further damage your belief in love. I am fully committed to consistently demonstrating love even when there are times you are unable to return it to me.
  4. Purpose. My motives are transparent so you never have to question them. I want to love you.  Seduce your soul. Heal your heart. Restore your belief in love and those who love you. Heal those broken places. Fully experience YOU, without the booby traps and security gates protecting your heart. I’m doing this because I want to feel your love and I believe that experience is worth it.
  5. Perfection.  I have been damaged too.  As I strive to bring you healing, I too will heal. You are my mirror, reflecting back to me my own hurt, pain, trust and abandonment issues.  As we walk this road together, I’ll make mistakes, become afraid, weary, frustrated and feel doubt. I may even want to run. The act of love is not the act of being perfect.  The act of love is to love despite imperfections.  Rules 1 through 4 apply to me as well.

Finally, I must remember that my heart is delicate from being mishandled so many times before you.  I must take some time out for me.  I must practice self-love and self-care.  I can’t allow my tank to empty while I fill yours. But know that even in my quiet time, my me time, I am loving you.

So now that we have a plan, shall we begin this journey to love?


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