In the past, I have been guilty of thinking that if I made someone a top priority in my life, that special person would reciprocate and treat me in a similar fashion. I am guilty of not sharing that expectation with that person. I assumed that you would simply follow the age-old adage of “do unto others as they do unto you.” In both love and friendships, I have been deeply hurt and disappointed when this didn’t prove true.
Feeling like the premise of the friendship/relationship was a lie, I would then remove that person from my inner circle, never to allow them into my heart again. WE ARE DONE! Why be a doormat for someone who didn’t appreciate all that I do for them and give me back the same in return?
I had to realize that everyone didn’t deserve VIP status in my life and I was handing out backstage passes way to easy. I was giving away my love too freely, to people who didn’t deserve it and had not yet earned it. I had to learn that there are levels to this thing called ships (Friendships/relationships), and realize I am worth too much for everyone to be allowed into my most intimate inner circle. Now my inner circle consist of three levels:
General Admission tickets/Single Ticket holder: These are my associates. We cool. But you only get limited opportunities to be up close and personal with me. You usually watch my season (chapters in my life) from the comfort of your living room. These would be the leaves to my tree.
Season Ticket Holders: These are my friends. You are in my inner circle. You have sown a seed into me for an entire season of my life. But there are times that even though you hold a ticket, your seat is empty. Other times, you are a great support for a season, but as the new season arrives, your status changes. These would be the branches to my tree.
VIP : These are my loves, my cheerleaders. These are those friends that support me when I suck at being their friend. They have seen me at my worse and celebrate me at my best. They don’t judge me, but hold me accountable. They are the roots to my tree.
As I work on being a better, wiser me, I’m learning to prevent that cycle of bitterness and resentment by realigning my expectations of people. So when someone shows you your priority level in their life, honor that truth. Then realigned where they fit in your life to match where you fit in theirs. You don’t have to cut them off, but just know that you can not hold VIP/sky box status in my life while I’m in general admission/nose bleed seat status in yours.
Don’t like your view of my life…pay the cost to be upgraded to VIP.