How to Beat a Bully

In a world full of horrible images on social media, and stories of hate that fill the headlines and overwhelm our timelines, how in the world do you stay inspired?

On top of the outside negativity spilling in, I live with a bully.  She seems to have an opinion on my every move, my every dream, plan, goal and it is rough hearing her constant criticism.

I decided I want to try something new.  I shared it with her and she responded…”You don’t have a clue what you are doing, why would you even try that? It will fail.”

I decided I was going to lose weight, and she immediately reminded me “Girl, you have been fat all your life, what makes you think you can lose the weight now.”

I swear it’s like I am living with the enemy.  I guess you ask, why I put up with her. Why don’t I just put her out. Well, the bully I am fighting with, it’s me.  My inner me has become my enemy.

We have been taught to love and be kind to others, but we can be so cruel and unforgiving of ourselves.  I would never say to someone who wanted to lose weight that they couldn’t do it.  I would never discourage someone from trying something new.  I simply would not be that cruel to someone.  So why do I speak this way to myself?

Self-love is a term thrown around constantly.  You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else.  But HOW?  It is not something that was taught to me growing up. Here are the steps that I am taking to change my inner voice from critic to cheerleader.

  1. Be Mindful.  The first step is to become aware of what your inner voice is saying. Don’t judge it. Don’t try to determine if it is good or bad, right or wrong. Just slow down enough to acknowledge and hear it.
  2. Get to the root of it.  Why do you feel the way that you feel?  Are you repeating a truth that was projected on to you by someone else?  Is that really your truth?  If you believe it is true, why do you believe that truth?
  3. Be willing to change. Negative self-talk is a habit.  Awareness of the issue and  knowing why you do it won’t make it go away, but it is a powerful first step.  Now that you are aware of it, you can develop a plan of action to deal with it when it occurs. I have power affirmations that I speak to myself in the morning when I awake and at night when I go to sleep.  Now when my inner critic tries to rise up, my cheerleader is already prepared.  When I hear, “You can’t do that.”  I speak my affirmation. “I am equipped and capable of handling anything that comes my way.”

It is not easy to beat a bully, but I am more than able to do it. I believe in myself and I believe in you too.


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